tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post3650473004262716580..comments2023-09-21T03:28:16.289-07:00Comments on CAMBODIA AS IT IS: To Take or Not to Take – A Khmer HusbandKJEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-76285426170177681032017-10-14T20:31:52.626-07:002017-10-14T20:31:52.626-07:00How are things today?How are things today?Lithonia girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00446148872410318981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-9523383648385238142017-10-14T20:30:16.215-07:002017-10-14T20:30:16.215-07:00I hope you didn't.I hope you didn't. Lithonia girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00446148872410318981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-65070871786179720432017-10-14T20:29:38.158-07:002017-10-14T20:29:38.158-07:00I have a khmer-american husband I can't wait t...I have a khmer-american husband I can't wait to sign divorce papers on. I read a LOT of similarity. Scary.Lithonia girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00446148872410318981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-50769304576201723992017-10-14T20:28:44.430-07:002017-10-14T20:28:44.430-07:00This was 5 years ago. How do you feel now? This was 5 years ago. How do you feel now? Lithonia girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00446148872410318981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-15726682187657412362017-08-26T09:21:53.465-07:002017-08-26T09:21:53.465-07:00I went to Cambodia for a 10 day missions trip in J...I went to Cambodia for a 10 day missions trip in June, I fell in love with a Cambodian guy same age as I am during the last two days of the trip, he was so nice and has the most amazing smile I have ever seen. I probably won't ever see him again, but apart of me wonders if he thinks of me the same way. He was so respectful, during the trip, falling for someone never even crossed my mind cause I was there for a missions trip, but 2 days before we left, I started having feeling for us one particular guy. He wanted to huge me, but given the circumstances I said we can only give "high-fives", so we did, and the next day, after our farewell party, he came over and gave me a "high-five" and looked right at me when he firmly shook my hand, then when they sent us off at the airport the next day, he did the same thing 3 different times. I knew he wanted to hold me by the looks in his eyes, but e was so respectful and self controled! It's been 3 months since I came back and I still think about him, I have him on fb, and have sent messages once or twice, but have kept me distance. We have two very different paths and I am willing to give up mine to be with Him, but as a Christian, I trust in God's way and timing, and he's a Christian brother that I don't want to give him the idea of something he is not ready for. We're both 21, don't know if I'll see him again, but I really hope to, also have grown a love for Cambodia itself, and don't want him to be the reason I want to go back. I just needed to get that out, and seeing an article about a Cambodia husband just got me excited... hahaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11359430258415978203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-38082962155003197112017-08-26T09:20:10.683-07:002017-08-26T09:20:10.683-07:00I went to Cambodia for a 10 day missions trip in J...I went to Cambodia for a 10 day missions trip in June, I fell in love with a Cambodian guy same age as I am during the last two days of the trip, he was so nice and has the most amazing smile I have ever seen. I probably won't ever see him again, but apart of me wonders if he thinks of me the same way. He was so respectful, during the trip, falling for someone never even crossed my mind cause I was there for a missions trip, but 2 days before we left, I started having feeling for us one particular guy. He wanted to huge me, but given the circumstances I said we can only give "high-fives", so we did, and the next day, after our farewell party, he came over and gave me a "high-five" and looked right at me when he firmly shook my hand, then when they sent us off at the airport the next day, he did the same thing 3 different times. I knew he wanted to hold me by the looks in his eyes, but e was so respectful and self controled! It's been 3 months since I came back and I still think about him, I have him on fb, and have sent messages once or twice, but have kept me distance. We have two very different paths and I am willing to give up mine to be with Him, but as a Christian, I trust in God's way and timing, and he's a Christian brother that I don't want to give him the idea of something he is not ready for. We're both 21, don't know if I'll see him again, but I really hope to, also have grown a love for Cambodia itself, and don't want him to be the reason I want to go back. I just needed to get that out, and seeing an article about a Cambodia husband just got me excited... hahaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11359430258415978203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-21664476298418996742017-06-21T05:46:00.936-07:002017-06-21T05:46:00.936-07:00My name is Star, and I have been having an affair ...My name is Star, and I have been having an affair with a Khmer man for 2/1/2 years.<br />I just found out a few months ago, he has a wife and 5 children under the age of 18.<br /><br />He keeps his family secret from everyone on his favorite game site.<br />He spends much time with this other woman, although he swears there is nothing going on.<br /><br />He doesn't spend time with me, although he always says he loves me.<br />What does all of this mean? Is this romantic games Khmer men play with western women?<br /><br />I feel so betrayed.<br />Is this the custom of Khmer men?<br /> How do I detach emotionally?<br /> <br /><br />Starhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06451273007369003916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-54938511947717354402016-05-16T20:59:47.451-07:002016-05-16T20:59:47.451-07:00You are welcome. Since he is 49 he was born here a...You are welcome. Since he is 49 he was born here and probably came to the U. S. via a refugee camp in Thailand at age 15, 16, or 17. Usually these people are still very traditional. Cambodians who fled during or after the Khmer Rouge were usually in support of the Lon Nol regime. People don't like to talk about that time as it was almost as bad as the succeeding regimes. That might apply to his parents, or at least his father. But he is probably fully Americanized, with the possible exception of a few Cambodian traditional values.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-27038476357057814092016-05-16T09:01:37.897-07:002016-05-16T09:01:37.897-07:00Actually....to be honest..I'm 42 and he's ...Actually....to be honest..I'm 42 and he's 49...and thank u for the advice...he's the type of man whose very quiet about his family.desireehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08777675640580676813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-21571242494763645262016-05-15T21:37:50.153-07:002016-05-15T21:37:50.153-07:00Now this is in the U. S. so perceptions of race ar...Now this is in the U. S. so perceptions of race are different there. I take it you are both young people so your boyfriend grew up in a more liberal society than back in Cambodia. As it often happens though, minorities live in their own communities and children grow up with traditional values. Let's just say this: in Cambodia ethnic African people are usually not accepted in the older generation. The younger generation even imitates African-Americans in music, dress, etc. Some of them could even pass for African-descended people themselves.<br />So for you, there is only one way to find out. Talk to his family and see what their reaction is. Don't be fooled by their outward friendliness; and ask your boyfriend outright. He should know best. Cambodians have a very strong relationship with their parents and listen to them even as adults.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-85354867787212654932015-05-30T03:48:52.226-07:002015-05-30T03:48:52.226-07:00I agree with this article, although I feel there a...I agree with this article, although I feel there are a lot of stereotypes and generalisations in some part. I think we have to consider the context in which Khmer men grow up in. And if the western mind and concept can fully understand that and is willing to immerse themselves into this then there should be no problems.<br /><br />Not all Khmer men are in it for the money, travel, experience overseas. But I think they are grabbing an opportunity that western countries take for granted. Not all Khmer men will survive living outside of their comfort zones but I guess that says the same about westerners going to live outside of their comfort zones.<br /><br />Khmer men and Women, and whatever relationship they have cross culturally will have some problems from time to time. But if it is true love then it will survive its time. I know someone who is in a relationship with a Khmer man, and yet he is still bound to his traditional expectations. The difference is that their relationship is a gay relationship, and yet the Khmer Man is still bound to have a relationship with a girl too. In my opinion his is still coming to understand himself and who he is. But in a way they both told me that love is love. The problem with Western cultures is that they always tend to put labels on things and box it. I wish them well and their relationship is still very strong.<br />Paddyhttp://paddynoble.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-36802716908314235902015-03-05T05:45:30.199-08:002015-03-05T05:45:30.199-08:005:28
I guess it's pretty obvious. This is a po...5:28<br />I guess it's pretty obvious. This is a poor country and women here look for a husband that can support them and their family first. This also applies to Khmer/Khmer unions. Older western men can still enjoy a young woman, a young woman is taken care of. I venture to say this holds true in 95% of the cases.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-21218553347902091302015-03-05T02:28:59.257-08:002015-03-05T02:28:59.257-08:00I see many older western men with much younger Khm...I see many older western men with much younger Khmer women but never the reverse. Why is this? Is it all about money?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-57403382517462658422015-01-26T02:33:11.305-08:002015-01-26T02:33:11.305-08:00This article is spot on, I'm an australian bor...This article is spot on, I'm an australian born cambodian male and have noticed the things mentioned in the article about cambodian males in cambodia. its easy to understand as cambodia is still a highly patriarchal society although there may be exceptions to the rule, this is pretty much accurate. As the author mentioned this does not pertain to cambodians born overseas so I don't know why some people are getting their panties twistedAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01243812864912341148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-66163032951163743962014-10-28T20:28:20.447-07:002014-10-28T20:28:20.447-07:00Well, Jimmy Un,
The choice of your words will tel...Well, Jimmy Un,<br /><br />The choice of your words will tell readers of what ilk you are. Possibly your IQ is not high enough to fully understand what I wrote. Perhaps, you read it again?KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-11543384571861303722014-07-05T22:35:15.765-07:002014-07-05T22:35:15.765-07:00Star,
How can I possibly know how this is going t...Star,<br /><br />How can I possibly know how this is going to work out for you. If I am brutally honest I would say it is going to fail eventually because 30 years age difference is just too much when the older partner is the woman. Please don't be disappointed about this. Maybe just enjoy it as long as it lasts, but don't despair if it ends. Hopefully, there are no material issues involved.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-40758191572001177332014-07-05T07:34:48.915-07:002014-07-05T07:34:48.915-07:00Hi KJE ,
I've been searching for how Khmer men...Hi KJE ,<br />I've been searching for how Khmer men raised largely in the US might view western women. But I am unable to find any information on this subject.<br />Even though I am so much older than him, he keeps saying that he respects me. What does this really mean? <br />And I am so much taller than him. He said he doesn't have a small man's syndrome with me.<br />Can there be a future, with me being thirty years older?<br /> <br />Starhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06451273007369003916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-1998798992727869042014-07-05T07:28:28.614-07:002014-07-05T07:28:28.614-07:00Hello
KJE ,
I have met a Khmer man raised in thi...Hello <br />KJE ,<br /><br />I have met a Khmer man raised in this country since he was 8. I am thirty years older than him.<br />I am crazy about him. He is kind gentle spoken, not feminine though.<br />It is interesting how this relationship is developing. <br />Any ideas what kind of future if any we might have?<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />StarStarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06451273007369003916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-44924567710304928772014-03-08T22:52:42.161-08:002014-03-08T22:52:42.161-08:00Hi Beatrice,
Actually this would be better dealt w...Hi Beatrice,<br />Actually this would be better dealt with in a private email exchange. This is also a little difficult to answer as I do not know the persons involved myself. I can only sort of intuit your feelings and thoughts, as we are both Westerners. I also assume you are an American. As for the young Khmer man I can only say, regardless of Khmer or Western, teenagers at that age are largely driven and subconsciously motivated by hormones. Saying 'I love you' is easy and often used too lightly. He may have a crush on you, but how sincere is it? 4 days is no time at all to get to know each other. So when you come back for 5 weeks don't expect anything and look at everything with clear eyes. Although 18 and 19 is still very young, normally at least you in the U. S. should have had some experience with crushes, first love, etc. After all, many high-school sweethearts get married. <br /><br />If I understood it correctly, he wanted to meet you and your fellow volunteers but never showed up, not calling you or excusing himself until you had communicated again via Facebook? That should tell you something. You can email me if you feel you can get some more insights. In my experience, and this is not in the field of relationships as I have been married a long time, Khmer people are somewhat unreliable. From what I see around me they are also possibly fickle in their relationships, which is not to say there aren't any serious young people out there. Please check his educational background, his family ties, his upbringing, etc. As I wrote in my post, the cultural gap is pretty wide and not easily overcome.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-5532118297278930432014-03-08T02:50:12.728-08:002014-03-08T02:50:12.728-08:00Hi KJE
Is it possible you could render me some adv...Hi KJE<br />Is it possible you could render me some advice? I met this lovely guy while I was volunteering just outside of Siem Reap and we got along so well. I spent only four days with him and I knew that we both had feelings for each other. The night I left he said 'you know what's so crazy?' and I said 'no, tell me!' and he said 'when we go out later tonight'. As it turns out, he and his friends didn't meet all us volunteers out and he never told me. We added each other on Facebook and I asked him a few days after I got home what was crazy, and he said he loved me. He's 19, I'm 18. I had absolutely no doubts that he did really like me, and I just thought that English being his second language he isn't taught the whole 'I like you' or 'I have a crush on you thing', but now I'm starting to get nervous having read articles just like yours. I'm going back to Cambodia at the end of June for 5 weeks and I'll be working in his village for 3. My problem is that most articles are based at Western men dating Khmer women who are in their late 20's or so on, whereas we are only teenagers.<br /><br />Any insight would be greatly appreciated :)Beatricenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-24583998261167844522013-10-07T20:38:53.150-07:002013-10-07T20:38:53.150-07:00I am glad I could give you a happy moment.
So I g...I am glad I could give you a happy moment.<br /><br />So I gather you live in NZ and your husband's actions are not far from what I described? If it doesn't bother the wife I guess it's ok, but from my experience European women (both Europe and North America) don't usually put up with this kind of behavior; maybe once or twice, but then the problems will be written on the wall soon after that, don't you agree?KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-89051250605044048212013-10-07T03:11:44.016-07:002013-10-07T03:11:44.016-07:00Hilarious! as a european woman from NZ married to ...Hilarious! as a european woman from NZ married to a khmer man (hes been here for 12 years) - THIS- THIS - is us!!<br />"Or the woman might find he has gone out without letting her know when and where he went, or when he would be back. He just leaves and shows up again as he pleases. Do not expect any great communication about this either"<br />Despite this - I love my Khmer husband - and you have given me a fabulous laugh for the night!<br />THANKYOU!!!!Janellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-8067871432247310912013-07-14T01:33:28.576-07:002013-07-14T01:33:28.576-07:003:07
Again, I stated that above. Exceptions prove ...3:07<br />Again, I stated that above. Exceptions prove the rule. It is a fact, though, that a lot of young Khmer-Americans come to Cambodia to find a wife with the characteristics they were taught to look for in a wife. You must be here to see for yourself.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-67550720161733720212013-07-13T12:07:24.916-07:002013-07-13T12:07:24.916-07:00I'm with an American born cambodian and I foun...I'm with an American born cambodian and I found a lot of these not true. Maybe it's because he was raised here, but his family still holds on to a lot of their Khmer traditions. The only thing that was somewhat true was the anger thing, he does have a bit of a temper but has never hit me or cheated on meAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268514535295850133.post-22691602891746208052013-05-24T21:02:10.997-07:002013-05-24T21:02:10.997-07:00Anne-Marie
Exceptions prove the rule, although I r...Anne-Marie<br />Exceptions prove the rule, although I really don't want to generalize too much. My thoughts are based on my own observations in the U. S. and here, and on sociological data.KJEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869408230216868495noreply@blogger.com